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Our History
Case studies - Loving
Children's Home / Mother/Child Healing Hostel
The girls who lived with us in
the Loving Children's Home were all the victims of severe
physical, emotional and sexual abuse,mostly by their fathers
and other members of their extended families.
In all cases, the mothers, who joined us in the Mother/Child
Healing Hostel, suffered as well at the hand of the husbands
and family.
The interrelationship of family members and the co-dependence
of their health were clearly evident in these programs.
Only through the healing of both the children and the mothers,
and the elimination of the abusive fathers from their lives,
could the children be reunited with their mothers and siblings
in their family homes. Change in one family member often instigated
and encouraged change in others, until the family as a system,
in this case without the fathers, could be made whole.
Some of the details of their stories have been changed to
maintain confidentiality, however, the general feeling of
their stories remains intact.
Donya and Svetlana are sisters.
Talya and Zelda are also sisters. New immigrants from the
former Soviet Union, they all lived in a caravan community
in the south of the country that was established to house
new immigrants from Ethiopia and the former Soviet Union.
Donya and Svetlana's home consisted of a small trailer that
they shared with an extended family of fourteen people.
The family's only income was from Welfare checks that their
father spent on gambling and alcohol. Usually drunk, he regularly
beat his wife and children. Talya and Zelda's home situation
was much the same. The neighbors living near the families
had experienced the violence of the fathers and seen the suffering
of the families. They, along with the mothers of the girls,
begged us to take the children away to save their lives.
The girls were all very disturbed on arrival
in our home. Their self-image was completely negative. They
were wild and undisciplined, exhibiting violent behavior toward
each other, unable to sit still or concentrate on anything.
We had the impression that they had never sat at a table and
eaten as a family. When given food, especially bread, they
would hoard it and gulp it down like animals. They seemed
unsure as to if and when they would next find something to
eat. It took several months of living with us before they
had the confidence that there would be food available on a
regular basis. It also took months before they could sit still
and concentrate.
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