Rachel - Protecting the family honor
Rachel came from an established traditional family with a good name in their community in the south of the country. The oldest in a home of seven children, she was a skilled homemaker and experienced sitter not only for her own siblings but for many other people's young children as well. At eighteen years old, Rachel dated a young man who tried to convince her that there would be no harm in having relations and, when she would not comply, forced her to do so. A short time later, Rachel realized that she was pregnant. Deeply embarrassed by their daughter's situation but unwilling to consider termination of the pregnancy, the family knew one thing for sure - they could not have Rachel remain in their home and risk the effect on the family name.

Rachel arrived at the New Start Hostel in the fifth month of her pregnancy. A very independent young woman, she was capable of running the entire house with her well-honed household management skills and leadership qualities. However, Rachel was not facing the emotional effect of her predicament. She refused to deal with the imminent birth of her child and her plans regarding the future. Rachel continued to avoid these issues and, in constant contact with her family, remained completely emotionally dependent on them.

Rachel's daughter, Sara, was born after a long and difficult labor and a small naming celebration took place in our home in order to further protect the privacy of the family. Several months later, Rachel returned to her family where the presence of the baby was explained by telling friends and neighbors that Rachel was caring for a working mother's child. She was not allowed to admit to being Sara's mother, or to enroll her in daycare so that she could pursue her independence.

Rachel called us frequently and expressed her frustration at the stifling of her independence while she remained in her family home. Her deep connection with her family made it difficult for her to make a break, but she wanted, she told us, to return to the New Start Hostel and explore vocational and career options.

When Sara was seven months old, Rachel rejoined us in the New Start Hostel. Now willing to face her situation head-on, Rachel was guided to explore her feelings regarding the events of the past sixteen months of her life and her need to break her dependence on her family and take control. Enrolling Sara in the daycare in our home, Rachel pursued vocational training with our assistance and landed herself a very lucrative job with a local computer company. Within one year of moving back into our home, Rachel and Sara were able to move into their own apartment in town.

Continued contact and visits to their home support our initial impression - Rachel is a very capable, loving, and supportive mother who only needed to be given the chance to make it on her own. Her repressive family environment had not encouraged her to face the direction her life had taken. For her, the New Start Hostel was both a shelter and a space in which she could be helped to create a realistic approach to the rest of her life.