Alyssa -
Nothing to lose
Alyssa arrived to our home literally
from off the streets. Only twenty-one years old, she had amassed
the experience of a much older woman. Separated at a young age
from their family due to repeated physical and sexual abuse,
Alyssa and her siblings were placed in institutions for troubled
children. Growing up with only peers from dysfunctional homes,
never having had family to help or support her, and with her
background of repeated sexual abuse, Alyssa had very disturbed
and distorted views of interpersonal relationships. With low
self-esteem and virtually no sense of personal worth, she grew
to be a very vulnerable young woman. By the age of fifteen,
Alyssa was pregnant with her first child. The father of the
child, with whom she lived, was severely abusive and addicted
to drugs. Although Alyssa tried very hard to care for herself
and her newborn daughter, she simply did not have the tools
to manage. When she finally turned in desperation to a shelter
for abused women, the authorities took her daughter away due
to the dire conditions under which they had lived.
The loss of her child broke her completely.
Alyssa fell apart, turning to alcohol and a series of strange
men. She developed a police record that included stealing
toys she had wanted to give to her daughter. By the time Alyssa
was referred to us, she was pregnant with her second child
by a man she barely knew. Kicked out of his house, she was
living on the streets, eating from garbage bins, and had with
her only the clothes on her back. Her daughter was in the
process of being put up for adoption. Alyssa was ill at the
thought of what would happen to her child-to-be. She was desperate;
desperate and scared.
In the New Start Hostel, Alyssa's hope
has been completely renewed. Here, she has been given a sheltering
space with food, clothes, and a room of her own, where she
has been helped to regain her emotional and physical strength.
A sensitive and sincere young woman, Alyssa has faced her
challenges in our home with great courage and inner personal
strength. The support she has felt here has allowed her to
explore her extremely difficult past and make great strides
toward a positive future. She has accepted the task of developing
skills to manage her own home and her financial affairs. Her
new daughter, who was born while she lived in our home, has
brought her tremendous joy and shown us all that, given the
opportunity, Alyssa is capable of being an excellent, loving,
and supportive mother.
Our hope for Alyssa in the future is good.
Although she will likely lose her older daughter to the courts,
visiting welfare department social workers have agreed that
she is a competent, concerned mother to her youngest child.
Alyssa is working daily on increasing her skills toward independence
and has a good chance of "graduating" from our home
to a stable single-parent situation.
Below are some reflections on the
program from Alyssa herself. Stated in her own words, they
reflect the positive impact a supportive family home can have.
"I came from off the streets, literally. I had nowhere
to go, to sleep, to eat. Someone found me and made several
phone calls until they spoke to Tzel Koratainu. Already, the
same day, I came from Jerusalem and was received very warmly
in the home. I arrived with only the clothes on my back, and
no shoes, just simple plastic flip-flops. I was immediately
given a clean bed, a hot meal, and a shower. They even bought
me clothes to change into. I had not lived with my own family
for many, many years. From an early age I was taken from their
home because of the things my father had done to me. I dream
about this still. Even in my sleep, he chases me.
At the time I came here, both my emotional and physical states
were horrendous. It has been almost a year since I first came
to the New Start Hostel program. They do not withhold any
possible goodness from me to try to help me overcome my situation.
And they know what I specifically need, teaching me how to
manage a home, to cook, to watch my money.
"Most important of all, the staff and house parents give
me the self-confidence and trust in myself to work towards
independence. To me, they are like parents, parents to me
and grandparents to my baby daughter. They are with me through
the good and the bad - even when I've done something to anger
or annoy them, I know that they approach me as if I were their
own child, with acceptance and with love."
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